The “Selfie”


On way to Kitchener for Oktoberfest, October 2011

This is going to be a moaning post. Moaning like the grumpy old man that I find myself turning into. I do find that as I get older I seem to disapprove of pretty much everything the younger generations do. I dislike their fashion sense, I dislike their musical tastes, I dislike their street slang and I dislike their selfish materialism.

However this week I want to look at the “Selfie”. We have all seen them. Endless numbers of pictures posted all over Twitter, Facebook, Instagram and no doubt countless other social media sites. 99.9% of the time the culprits are girls, and although most are taken by teenage girls, a large proportion are taken by fully grown women.

The favoured pose by teenage girls is the “Duck Face” pose and with camera held at a 45 degree angle above the head. The model, and I use that word very loosely, then pouts at the camera making the individual look like they have a little beak, hence the term Duck Face.

2013-09-09 11.08.57

“Duck Face” Pose

I have a question…..why? Is it supposed to be cute? Is it supposed to be sexy? Because I don’t find it either and I can’t think of anyone that does.

At least the teenagers are clothed, for the most part if recent newspaper articles are anything to go by. But what have you older women got to say for yourselves? Constant streams of cleavage shots, photos of butts in figure hugging Lulu Lemon sweat pants, underwear shots and even a little nudity. I personally know lots of young women who change their profile pictures or post new photos several times a day. The poses are all the same so why are they putting up photos that are pretty much identical? Answers on a postcard and send them to……

But I have another question. Why do these people insist on clogging up our news feeds with these selfies?

The answer is simple. They are narcissistic and seek constant validation from people. They thrive on “Likes” and comments like “You look gorgeous babe” and “Stunning” followed by a little heart emoticon. They believe that the only way to attract a man or gain praise is by using their bodies as oppose to their intellect. Some even have the cheek to call people “pervs” for making suggestive comments on said photographs. I’m sorry ladies. If you have your tits out on display and a man says “Nice rack you got there” then you have no right to be offended.

Unfortunately we live in the “I can do what I want” age where alot of women think it’s perfectly ok for them to wear next to nothing, and only get looks and flirtatious comments from desirable young men. I’ve got news for you ladies. We don’t live in a perfect world. You either have to put up with less desirable men looking at your comely udders or cover yourself up.

My ex-partner was very well endowed in the breast department but she never put them on display. She always looked classy sexy. She would attract men by using the wonderful art of conversation. She would be witty, knowledgeable and unpretentious. I had and still have, even though we have parted ways, more respect for her than I do many other women I have met (with the exception of my dear mother of course).

My personal favourite, and by favourite I mean the one I hate so fucking much is the stupid “V” shape with index and middle finger tilted at a 90 degree angle. I don’t know what it means but I am assuming it has something to do with ghetto culture. Because middle class white people like nothing more than to pretend they are “ghetto”.

2013-09-09 11.09.07

I’m ghetto me

On a final note I am going to leave you women who insist on putting sexy, sultry pictures of yourself online with a little thought. Once you post a picture online it is there forever. Even if you delete it, it is still floating around the fibre-optic cables of the world and people can easily download said pictures to their own hard-drives. Also the next time you put up a cleavage shot just think of all those greasy, spotty, horny teenage boys who are jerking off over your photographs…just a thought.


2 responses to “The “Selfie”

  1. The duck face and twerk poses are just idiotic. But what do I know, I’m a middle aged woman. It is hypocritical to pose half-naked and then complain that men are being ‘pervs.’ These women also don’t realize that men are not interested in dating or marrying women who act like porn stars (in public.) Our behavior may get better as we age, but the “selfie” lasts forever.

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